When Disappointment visits you during ‘Celebrations !

So your startup organization who is gaining attention ..there you are ,you had a fantastic last month & you worked hard & created a record revenue for the first time in the last one year, you have shared the good record story to your team , your family & youself a number of times, Your mind is already thinking of buying the fancy luxurious item that you glanced through ,on Amazon.

Excitement, the power to buy what I want ..how I want …feels empowered right ?

Not actually ..the client you so feverishly worked with last month ..seems to not be answering your calls for clearing the payment, you smile & say ..its alright …we will get the payment , but days turns to a fortnight and now worry starts creeping in ,bill due dates shows up ,reminder email here ,a call there ..nope ..no success yet! Some more time !

Whether you are running a bootstramped startup, or you are a college student who has worked hard to get the scores,or you are a single parent trying to make your child’s costly school expense met, or you could be a Senior manager heading a team of sixty leaders ,or you could be a house wife who is just thinking of creating a livelihood !

Disappointment does strike, specially when you are anticipating a more postive good news to occur !

You state ‘what the heck’ ,I was so ready to recieve the payment & celebrate this festival with loved ones …& this pathetic disappoinment shows up!

Now.. hear me out for a minute..no ones ‘loves’ disappointment, but disappoinment comes..yes it does! it could come in the form of delays, setbacks,errors, being let down, financial crunch,conficts,heart breaks,commitment not honoured,the designer got you the wrong dress size for your cherished date, your presentation was recieved awfully ..the list goes on!

Now as I picturize the disappointment …it gives me for sure a bitter feeling in my deepest self, I believe you will identify with me !

Think for a minute.. your disappoinment could drive you crazy, you could throwup bitterness on your family or even people you work with, It could lead you to a pity party ‘why me’ ,’why do I have to be the only one struggling during the festive period while the world is celebrating’!Or your disappoinment could help you to see your truest Authentic self!

Your recent setback may lead you to slowly killing your enthusiasam, joy & dream by being cynical about your big dream .. you would say ..’I was a fool to even think of achieving that large goal ..now I am struggling even to survive financally’! it could lead you to bury your exciting goal & vision you just shared in your meeting with your team!

Some of us may distract ourselves by being busy in a pile of work which are in no ways related to your aspirations,just to avoid the bitter hurt of disappoinment,Some actually may load thier mind with back to back Youtube videos till 2 am in the morning & get up feeling absolutely horrible about their life.

If that is you ,say yes ..for it is the first step to being Authentic to ourselves.

Disappointment is sure to come but like I say ‘When a wave comes..go deeper & find out more!

Your disappoinment may be a reminder for you to spend some ‘alone time’ with yourselves without your gadgets or task & find out ‘what is really going on ?

Now some people find comfort in sharing their disappoinment with friends ..which is fine & there is definitely a place to share with a trusted buddy ! However they do not stop there ..they will share it around with almost everyone who will hear ‘their disappoinment saga! You would hear them say ‘I am so unlucky,so unfortunate,they rejected me ,why did he do that to me! why the hell did the client delay the payment !

If you observe the statements all of it though may be genuine are all putting a blame on ‘someone else’ ,may I just say grief & disappoinment visits us to help us ‘learn about ourselves, grow through that situation & discover the real ‘you’.

The key word here is ‘Take ownership of your disappoinment’

When disappoinment arrives its important to disect or seperate the emotions from the situation ..take a pen & paper or type out on google keep ! As Tony Robbins states ‘disappoinment can either drive you or defeat you !

Let;s apply the rockert principle to your situaiton here ,’The pressure created by the controlled explosion taking place inside the rocket’s engines is a force called ‘thrust’. That pressure accelerates the gas one way and the rocket the other.The thrust for the rocket continues as long as its engines are firing (source:http://web.mit.edu/16.00/www/aec/rocket.html)

In its truest sense when you and I go through disappoinment ,the pressure in that situation which is hot fueling with emotions & energy can actually ‘thrust’ us forward to find solutions..but not only that …it can also help us to identify our life patterns that might be contrary or even an obstacles to our goals.So infact disappoinment can be a good thing in a way ..for it will push you forward , it will help you to discover your true self, it will help you to identify your life patterns & change it .if you want to !

Infact disappoinment can be a good thing in a way ..for it will push you forward , it will help you to discover your true self, it will help you to identify your life patterns & change it .if you want to !

Infact just like the rocket ‘the more fire ‘pressure’ thrust the rocket to move higher deep into space’, You and I have been created to reach greater heights that most of us cannot comprehend, the disppoinment is sometime a ‘push’ to get up..rise up… and reach to your biggest dream ,your universal higher calling that you have been createD for!

One great example of this is Cricketing legend ‘Sachin Tendulkar’ ,he played better in disappoinments & created the tons of hundreds!

What if the payment that was delayed ,might be because you haven’t setup a process of clear payment timeline to your client, or you did not proactively keep the funds in reserve for the next month!

Champions like you and me are created when the muscles of our heart and mind are excercised in disappoinment and setbacks !

Disappoinments is actually a gift to push us to ‘Change’ what we would normaly never want to if given a choice!

So finally how should we handle disappoinment ,I suggest,

  1. Go & spend some alone time with yourself..right now!
  2. Discover what is really fueling inside ? Ask yourself ‘what are you feeling’?
  3. Seperate your emotions from the situation and ask ‘what is it teaching me’?
  4. Dive deeper & find out why did it even happen? Has it happened earlier as well ?
  5. Ask yourself ”what life patterns must I change to align myself to my goals?
  6. Find your solution & action it …
  7.  Stop using the bandage method – Remember, the same disappoinment will keep coming back if you dont deal with the root cause of it today
  8. Share your life lesson with someone who will need it to affirm your learning to one self
  9. Learn from your disappoinment & grow to a better you !The champion you!
  10. Smile ! go out & have some fun ..Celebrate your learnings!
  11. And remember even this phase will pass ..soon ! ..hold your head up!

Finally let me close this with a quote ‘Your Greatest breakthrough happens when you come to know a truth about yourself’ -Bobby Dsouza-Motivational speaker